


Me

by littlemissstark315



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Church is alive and human, M/M, Torture, What else is new, clone, powers, the director ignoring ethics, what if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:41:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25274077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissstark315/pseuds/littlemissstark315
Summary: The Director can’t take his past mistakes, can’t get over how he let Alison get away and die.So he creates a clone of himself to fix that but it doesn’t go according to plan and Church ends up in blood gulch with no memory of how he got there and nightmares every night.Until Agent Washington shows up and brings his entire world he thought he knew on itself.
Relationships: im honestly not sure yet, will add as it goes - Relationship
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

“Sir, are you positive this is what you want to do?” Dr. Price asked the director. The director was staring out his office window. Soon the UNSC would be giving him his own ship, putting him in charge of a subgroup of the UNSC; Project Freelancer.

At the moment they were finding the right candidates, he wanted to be among them but couldn’t do to his position.

“Did I stutter Dr. Price?”

“No sir. I am just making sure you understand the morality around this situation.”

The director turned. “I understand them perfectly well counselor.”

“Understood. I will make sure to send instructions to the labs.”

“And make sure they speed this up, I don’t want to be taking care of a child, I want it to be adult and ready.”

Price looked apprehensive but wasn’t going to back talk the director again. “Yes director. I will give the lab your instructions.”

Price went down to R&D and talked to the doctors and scientists. One of them frowned. “This seems really unethical. Exactly why does he want a clone?”

“He thinks it would be a good investment to the new project. This way he can be in two places at once.”

Another scientist sighed. “Alright. We’ll get plans going and an estimate-“

“The director already has a date in mind for when he wants it ready. In the next ten years he wants a fully fictional, adult clone of himself.”

The room of ten scientists went up in an uproar. “We can’t do that! The genetics ould be too unstable, lord knows what could happen if we rushed this.”

Price looked at the man. “Do you like your job Doctor? I suggest you keep quiet and do your jobs before you become blacklisted in the science community. You won’t have another job.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Oh but I can. Now ladies and gentlemen. What will it be?”

A women stood, older, 50s. “We’ll do it. But we can’t guarantee the results, to create a cloned human into adulthood in that time, it’s too fast but we’ll do what we can.”

Price smiled. “Thank you for your honesty. I will relay it to the director as you get to work. Have a good day.”

He left and everyone stared at each other wondering what the hell is happening.

A week after the progress started, having gotten a DNA sample from Director church, Price came to check.

The women from before, the older one, Dr. Matsfield Price remembers, came over to him. “Hello sir, here to see the progress?”

“Yes, I’m quite curious.” She gave a sigh. “Alright, follow me.” She led him to an incubation chamber where she showed him a small tank, with the tiniest fetus inside.

The doctor started explaining it. “The clone right now is estimated to be about three months old in fetus age, it’s taking on human features; Eyes, mouth, Jaw, the throat is forming as well. It’s heartbeat is around 65 beats per minute.” “It?”

She looked at him strangely. “I’m sorry?” price was still staring at the fetus, no bigger than a large strawberry. “You called the fetus an It.” “I’m sorry, does it make you uncomfortable? At the moment it’s too soon to know genders but does the Director have a name in mind? We could call the fetus that until we know the gender.”

“Yes, his own. And he’s set on it.”

She looked oddly at him. “But if it ends up being a girl? Does he have an idea in mind?”

“That is a bridge we will cross at a later date. For right now, let’s call the fetus Leonard.”

The doctor gave a smile. “Alright. Then this is little Leonard Church.”

Five years later

Dr. Matsfield could only watch as they took Leonard away. He was ten years old now, still developing quickly, on track for the Directors time given but now project freelancer was a-go, The Mother Of Invention ready for crew and missions, which they have. Now men were taking the tube that the young boy floated in with wires attached to him, asleep.

She felt like he was her own. She watched him grow from Fetus to child, damn near created him. He had fair skin and black hair but his brain activity was always a worry. It was constantly firing off. It was in a constant state of thinking rapidly, she’s even seen him manipulate the electrical devices of the tube (although not consciously) Now she’ll never know.

He was placed in a special made container, it looked more like a normal box that carried special equipment, not a child. 

As it was loaded onboard with the other things, Carolina saw it, speaking to York. “What do you think is in that? It can’t be just our ordinary weapons.”

York shrugged. “Maybe a special weapon one of us can use at the right time. Or food.”

Carolina scoffed. “Food?”

“Do you have a better idea?” He asked with a shrug. Soon they were all on board, everyone introducing themselves and getting to know the ship, getting briefed before taking off into space.

Five more years later

Since the first day, Leonard had been growing rapidly in his crate, they eventually moved him to a box similar to a casket, white with wires and monitors and cameras, in a section of the ship no one but the director can go to. Education being pumped into his unconscious mind all the time.

The lid was carefully removed by robotic arms, the white lid breaking its seal with a hiss. Inside was a young man, eighteen, dark hair with an average build.

The director looked to the doctors and technicians he had in the room. “Start the wake up process.” The doctor nodded. “Yes sir.” he got an IV ready, the casket-like box being lifted in the air by a machine to bring it as high as a hospital bed.

The doctor gently inserted the IV, taping it down. “He should be awake in a few hours. In the meantime we can get his vitals, weight, height, basics. “ the director nodded. “Very well, do what you have too, I’ll inform Dr. Price.”

He said as he walked out of the room.

The doctors and technicians worked around him, getting every reading they possibly could.

Then he woke up.

Blue eyes opened, looking panicked, hands gripping the white box he was in, making the technology inside of it (and others in the room) flicker and spark with power surges as he panicked, trying to sit up but found he was attached to wires and tubes.

The technicians around him were freaking out, the doctor going to the new man who was panicking and looking around frantically. “Where am I?!” He asked, nearly hyperventilating as the doctor came over, hands up in a calm gesture. “You’re safe. You’re on the Mother of Invention, you just woke up, take a few deep breaths.”

Leonard followed the doctors orders and breathed deeply, feeling slightly better. The doctor came over once he was calm and the technology was calm and started taking his IV out when he asked “Where’s Alison?” The doctor looked confused. “I’m sorry?”

Leonard swallowed. “Alison. Where is she?” The doctor played along, wondering if Alison was from any dreams he had in his comatose state of cloning. He did have unusually high brain activity. “I’m not sure but once you’re rested and have had a medical exam, we can find out.” Leonard just nodded but overheard one of the technicians saying “call the director.”

The doctor got a hospital gown for Leonard, letting him have privacy for his body for the first time since his conception.

The director walked in, Price behind him. This is the first time Price has seen the director smile; it was unnerving. “Hello son, do you know your name?”

Leonard raised an eyebrow. “I have a name?”

“Yes son. And yours is Leonard Church.”

Leonard looked serious, like he was committing it to memory. “Leonard Church. Why am I here? And…”

“Who are you?”

Leonard nodded, still looking more like a lost child than an adult.

“You son, are me. A clone from my own DNA. Ten years ago I had them take my DNA to create you.”

Leonard blinked, that wasn’t what he was expecting. “So I’m you?”

“In a sense. You may be made from DNA but nothing will ever be exact. “

“Can I ask, why did you make me? Am I your son?”

“Yes, by legal and paper means, you are my son but I have much in store for you.”

The director walked over, putting his hands on the young mans shoulders. “Leonard Church, today is your birthday.”


	2. Chapter 2

Church sighed as he was put through every test imaginable.

They checked his blood pressure, eyesight, height, breathing. Those we’re basics.

They then did every blood test they could, he was pricked so many times his arm was sore to bend and no one gave him an answer where Alison was and then immediately he’d question himself on how he knows her.

He found out he’s 5’10, no allergies, no known drug allergies and that was the the extent they told him.

After the medical exam, several bandages on his right arm, he was lead down a sterile hallway. he saw Dr. Price waiting for him outside a door. The doctor smiled politely. “Hello Leonard, I hope you are doing well.”

Leonard just shrugged. “I guess. My arm hurts like a bitch though, did they need to do so many blood tests?” “We are just making sure everything is stable and that you’re healthy, there won’t be any more.”

Leonard scoffed. “Then why are you greeting me?” Dr. Price chuckled. “You are very sharp. I am here to talk to you, give you a psychological evaluation so no needles, just a nice talk.” He opened the door, letting Leonard in first.

He walked inside, and looked around. It was a very generic living quarters. Almost everything was in one room, save for the bathroom and shower. “This is where you will be staying, with time you can make it yours but for now it’s rather blank. I already have tea ready.”

Leonard just nodded, going to the sofa and coffee table that held two mugs of steaming tea.

Leonard stayed standing, feeling uncomfortable in the doctors presence for some reason. “Will you answer my questions?” He asked. Price nodded as he sat down. “Yes, that is what I’m here for.” “Who’s Alison? Why do I remember her? And why do I feel this need to know about her?”

Price looked away. “That is one question I can’t answer.” “Why the fuck not? I mean, you brought me into this world, literally but you leave me in the dark about important shit I should know, like why the fuck he even made me for starters!”

Price just stared at him. This was not the same Leonard church. This Leonard Church had passion, anger and a fire in him that died out in the original with Alisons passing

Price noticed the static that grew around Leonard’s finer tips and the TV behind him flickering between black and snow-screen.

Leonard noticed too and looked at his hands, jumping in fright. “Oh my god! What the hell is happening to me?” Price stood. “It will be explained in time. For now I need you to take a deep breath and calm down.”

Leonard did, following the doctors instructions and took a few deep breaths. “I have memories. They aren’t mine.” “We can discuss them. Please, sit down.”

An hour later Price went to the Director, telling him the update on Leonard’s health, mental and physical. “I believe he is experiencing something akin to cellular memory, where a transplant recipient gains memories or personality traits of the organ donor. Since this was a direct clone, it’s highly likely he’s gain quite a few of your memories.”

The director was pacing. “This isn’t good. Can we fix it?” “You mean, can we make him forget?” “Yes.” Price frowned. “It’s possible but I highly advise against it. We don’t know what sort of side effects that kind of procedure could bring. And what of his…abilities? Shall we address that?”

The director sighed. “Yes. Right away. With abilities such as that he could inadvertently bring down this entire ship.” “Yes sir.”

Within two hours price got a room set up, leading Leonard to the room. Leonard after a while knew he was on a ship, a rather large one so he found it suspicious he was isolated from the rest of it.

Price opened the door, several doctors inside with several pieces of technology. Mostly computers, a few cameras.

Leonard looked at Price. “What is all this?” Price smiled. “This is where your…abilities will be tested and be learned. So you can control them.”

“What are they? Why do I have them?” Leonard asked. Price led him further inside. “We’re not quite sure, that’s what we are going to attempt to figure out here.”

Leonard just gave a nod and let one of the doctors lead him further inside, starting to put wireless monitors on him. Leonard frowned, feeling them Leonard watched them flutter around him, feeling the sticking of the wireless monitors. It hurt his skin but he didn’t complain. “What is all this for?”

One of the doctors smiled to him. “It’s to keep track of your vitals and brain fiction during these tests.”

“What am I supposed to do? Honestly, I’ve been so fucking confused. Why the hell do I have these abilities?” The doctor gave a shrug, lead him to a computer set up. “It could be a side effect of your rushed cloning process but with these tests that’s one answer we hope to find. Now do you know what a computer is?”

Leonard gave him a blank stare. The doctor gave a small chuckle. “Sorry, had to make sure. It’s not logged in, it’s password is encrypted; we want you to attempt to get inside it and log in.”

Leonard blinked. “How? I don’t even know what abilities I have.” “From observing we know you have the ability to manipulate technology and electronics. The times that power came out, think about how it felt.”

Leonard swallowed, wondering what will happen if he passes whatever test this is. Will they cut him open? Keep him for study? He is just going to be a lab rat his entire, artificial life?

He looked at the computer and stared. It had a black screen with Project Freelancers logo, asking for information. He sighed, talking to himself. “Ok Leonard, you can do this.” He figured touching them screen would be a good start. He put his right hand on the glass monitor and tried to focus on the other times his abilities came out.

He startled himself when he felt his mind going into the computer, reading the binary code like it was English. He took his hand away quickly, panting.

The doctor came over. “What happened?” Leonard was panting. “I went into the computer. I could read it’s binary code.” “I will add that to the notes. Continue hacking the computer for now, don’t be afraid of it or yourself.”

Leonard scoffed. “Easy for you to say.” Leonard looked back at the computer and put his hand up to the monitor again, this time letting the tugging feeling take over as he went into the computer, reading all its files and binary.

The doctors watched, taking notes, Leonard’s eyes rolled to the back of his head to revel white, hand engulfed in electricity until the computer let him inside and Leonard came back, blinking and looking at the computer, now logged in. “Hey! I did it!”

The doctor smiled. “Let’s move on to the next test.”


	3. Chapter 3

The doctors found out so much of Leonard’s abilities.

Dangerously so.

Not only can he hack computers by going inside them and able to read binary (even outside the computer) but he’s able to transfer energy through circuits and wires. They gave him an IQ test and he finished it within ten minutes, with an IQ well over 200.

The director paced. “This is bad.” “I concur director. At the moment his living quarters have been outfitted to prevent such hacks and energy transference but with how sharp he is, we cannot guarantee he’ll be in the dark for long. He’s already suspicious of the ship.”

The director cursed. “Shit. This is not how I planned.” “If I may ask, what was your plan for him?” The director turned away from him. “That is not a matter you need to know. For now, start the process, see if we can…eliminate these abilities.”

Price frowned, this is going beyond unethical but he had no choice but to follow it if he didn’t want to be blacklisted from having a job again. “Yes sir.”

Leonard never relaxed. He was taken to a new room, which they said was his living quarters but that depends on your definition of living.

He had no electronics of any sort other than lighting which he found out is powers by an impressive generator.No wires lead outside the room so he can’t find out anything.

Which is highly suspicious, to the point the realization made his hair stand on end. All he had was a kitchen and books and a restroom.

After three hours of silence and being left alone he decided he needed to find a way to break out and find out what’s really happening.

He built a way to the ceiling, feeling for a loose panel or air duct. One moved and he grinned, moving it out of the way quietly and climbing his way inside as quietly as possible.

He crawled in the darkness until he heard voices. One of the Director and a few guards.

“The room is ready, please retrieve Leonard for me.”

“Yes sir.”

Leonard frowned, what did they need him for? He crawled some more until he got to what he suspected to be the directors office.

If any place had information about this fucked up situation, it would be here.he jumped down, gracelessly, with a thud onto the floor. “Son of a bitch!” He groaned as he got up, seeing his computer. He swallowed. What he learns here is going to make him enemy number one in the eyes of the Director.

He quickly went to the computer, feeling anxiety thrumming through his veins as he brought a hand to the monitor and felt himself get tugged inside it.

He saw codes, several files encrypted, which he managed to bypass to get to the information and files.

Once he saw everything he could he took his hand away and gasped.

“What? No…Alison is…like me?”

Suddenly the door opened, the Director in the doorway.

The director glared, going over to him quickly. “How the hell did you get in here?” Leonard glared back. “You thought I was too stupid to not figure out something was suspicious? Alison is alive, isn’t she?”

The director brought his gun out, bringing it to Leonard’s head. “This was not part of my plan.” Leonard was nearly growling. “Go ahead. Shoot me. You wasted ten years making me only for me to be s disappointment. Typical of children, right?” The Director was caught off guard enough for Leonard to disarm him, shove him down and run out of the room like hell was at his heels.

He heard the director screaming behind him, guards joining the chase as he got to the second floor, the R&D floor and found the room he woke up in. He burst through the door and startled some doctors but he saw what he was looking for.

A tube, much like what he grew in, held an infant.

He ran over, putting his hands on the glass, feeling his eyes well up. “Alison…” suddenly the guards rushed in, finding him and quickly tackling him to the ground. 

He let them.

All his suspicions were answered.

They threw him in a room, with nothing. It look like a mental asylums room but with a metal door and a toilet. This is what he was left with.

Suddenly the director spoke up, his voice being pumped into the room. “Oh Leonard you have caused me quite a bit of trouble.” 

Leonard shook his head. “Don’t call me that. Not any more. It’s bad enough we have the same name, same DNA, but call me Church.”

“Fine. Church. I was going to take it easy on you but you’ve given me no choice.”

Suddenly the room was filled with voices, all saying the same thing.

Alison Isn’t real.

_AlisonisntrealAlisonisintreal_

Church held his ears. “No! No, she is! She’s real! I saw her!”

_AlisonisintrealAlisonisintreal_

ALISONISNTREAL


	4. Chapter 4

_AlisonisntrealAlisonisintrealAlisonisintrealAlisonisntreal_

_AlisonisintrealAlisonisintrealAlisonisntrealAlisonisintreal_

_AlisonisintrealAlisonisntrealAlisonisintrealAlisonisintreal_

_AlisonisntrealAlisonisintrealAlisonisintrealAlisonisntreal_

_AlisonisintrealAlisonisintrealAlisonisntrealAlisonisintreal_

_AlisonisintrealAlisonisntrealAlisonisintrealAlisonisintreal_

It just didn’t stop.

Church wasn’t sure how long he was locked in that room, listening to it assault his head over and over and over and _over_ again.

With a small amount of time the words become gibberish but it’s message was clear. 

He tried to keep his sanity, but trying to tune it out, to sleep it out, even went so far as to take advantage of the toilet and forced himself to vomit, just to distract himself from the gibberish of _Alison isn’t real._

All of that worked, for a small amount of time. And the director knew that. Church knew he had to be watching his spiral into insanity.

He eventually collapsed under the weight of the phrase being pumped in the room, repeating it back to himself mindlessly, rocking against the wall, dried vomit on his chin and shirt. “Alison isn’t real, Alison isn’t real, Alison isn’t real..” He kept repeating. 

In the monitor room Price looked at the doctors over seeing this. “Shall I tell the director the update on his mental health?” “Yes. Right now would be the best time to work.” Price nodded as he walked down out of the room and down the hall.

He knocked on the door of the Directors office before walking in. The director turned to him from looking at the leaderboard. Price spoke. “Church is now in a moldable state Director. Shall we move him to phase two?” “Yes. We have a room set up, the doctors will show you there while you…keep Church calm.” “Yes sir.”

It’s been 40+ hours before they opened the door to Church’s cell. He was collapsed on the floor, weakly mumbling “Alison isn’t real..” over and over again. Black hair greasy and eyes barely open, his body limp as they dragged him out.

Church didn’t become aware he was moving until they were halfway down the hall, nearly screaming in fright. The last time he was dragged somewhere was the room he was just in. He struggled, panting with anxiety. “No! No! Stop! I won’t tell! I promise I won’t! I’ll be good! Please!”

This room he was brought into had what looked like a dentist chair but much more threatening with restraints and a metal headpiece that’s doesn’t look too fun either, with several little drills inside. 

He was quickly put inside it, hands and legs cuffed, even his chest restricted as he looked around frantically.

“Please, you don’t need to do what you’re doing.” Price came over, staring down at him as they lowered the back of the chair. “Who is Alison?” “Alison isn’t real.” Church said automatically, his eyes wide in horror. Price made a noise. “Seems you still Remember her. That room was only phase one. To ensure you won’t talk we need to…eliminate certain memories.” Church tried to struggle but he was too weak from being malnourished for two days and losing his mind.

Elsewhere in the ship, Carolina was up late in the training room, working hard to become number one on the leaderboard. Wash was up with her, in the observatory with York and North.

He turned toward the door. “Hey, did any of you hear that?” York looked at him. “Hear what?”

“Screaming. It was really faint but I thought I heard it. Maybe I’m just tired, never mind.”

North frowned. “I heard it too.” Wash looked surprised, none of them ever seem to agree with him on anything. “Think it’s something important? Should we check it out?”

York stood. “You two stay here, I’ll go check it out but I doubt it’s anything. Probably just our ears playing tricks on us.”

York went out of the room and walked a bit further into the ship, a bit deeper when he finally heard it.

Screaming.

It echoed and was distant but it was in fact a scream; of pain and terror. It knew it well.

He felt dread build and Delta come out come out, glowing green. “York, something is wrong.” York scoffed. “You’re telling me. Can you take me to that screaming.”

“I cannot. Whoever it is, is in a high security area, none of us have clearance.”

“Shit. That means it’s really bad.”

“Correct.”

York followed it still, until he ran into tex. “Tex?” She turned, in her black armor, gun aimed at him. “What are you doing here?” York put his hands up. “Whoa! Same as you! You heard it too?”

She put her gun down. “I’ve done more than heard it. The director is hiding something and I’m finding out what it is. I’ve already dug up some files but I couldn’t find more.”

“So what’s going on?”

Tex looked away. “He made a clone of himself.” York looked confused. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know. That’s all I could find. That he has a clone but that’s probably who’s screaming.”

York swallowed. “Jesus. What are they doing to him?”

“Nothing good. I can assume the cloning didn’t go his way and now he’s making it go his way.”

“Well we gotta do something! He’s torturing him!”

“We will York but there’s nothing we can do right now. We don’t have the security clearance and what’s exactly is your plan once we find this clone?”

York groaned. “Fine. We need a plan. We should at least inform the other’s-“

“No. You can’t tell them. Not yet at lest. If you tell them this now I guarantee South or Carolina will charge on with no plan.”

York sighed. “Then what do I tell Wash? He heard the scream too.”

“Anything but the truth.” She said as she walked past him.

York groaned. “Fucking hell.” He turned, walking back. He got back to the observation and Wash and North looked over. Wash speaking first. “So?”

York just put on a smile. “Just some ghosts.” Wash looked confused. “Ghosts?”

“Yeah, you didn’t know this place is haunted?”

North played along with it. “Oh yeah, super haunted. Can’t walk down a hallway without hearing a ghost.”

Wash frowned. “Oh. I guess that’s what I heard then.” York patted him on the shoulder. “Yep. Just a ghost, we named him Fred.”


	5. Chapter 5

_What was happening? Where am I?_

Church asked himself. He was in pain, going in and out of wakefulness. He couldn’t move, he tried but it hurt and he was weak.

“My god, this is what the directors been up to?” Church heard a voice, male, he could barely keep his eyes open. He saw gold armor.

“Just help me get him out of here, he needs medical treatment.” He heard a female voice that sounded familiar to him. She had black armor.

“Please! You can’t just remove him!” A doctor yelled, Carolina holding them at gun point. Carolina moved closer to them. “Watch us.”

Church barely cried out when the headpiece with screws inside it came off his head, causing him to bleed more.

York looked him over. “Shit. Fucking hell, what the fuck was the director thinking?”

Tex threw over some gauze and disinfectant. “No time for questions, clean his wounds before we move him. I doubt they’ve been very clean.” York nodded, coming over and putting some of the disinfectant on the gauze and gently cleaning his bleeding head, several small gauges from the screws. Church hissed weakly as Tex got his restraints off.

Once he was free of his restraints, York picked him up, gently, held in his arms. It worried him how limp he was. Carolina was about to follow them when he saw one of the doctors move to press the alert button.

She shot at him, striking his neck but it was too late, he pressed it and the lights went off, red flashing and alarms blaring.

Carolina hissed. “Fuck!” York cursed as well. “Carolina! Cover me! I can’t fight while holding him!” Carolina ran in front of him. “Got it!”

Church blinked his eyes open, seeing bright lights and hearing voices, they sounded angry but he was so tired and in so much pain, he couldn’t focus.

“It won’t hold for long, fuck, what the hell are we supposed to do with him?” A female voice yelled, it didn’t sound familiar to him like the other female voice.

“Well we couldn’t just leave him there, they’d probably kill him. He already looks like he’s been through hell.” A male voice said, they sounded young. Church moved his head best he could, everything was blurry but he saw black and yellow armor, standing close to him. 

“The Director wouldn’t kill him. He’s worked too hard on him. He was erasing his memory in there.” There it was.

That familiar female voice. He saw black armor, arms crossed. The one in gold armor spoke. “Why would he erase his memory? He’s never been outside that room. How much did he find out?”

“Too much by the look of it. I’m just glad we got rid of my clone. Can’t believe he would pull this shit. What Am I?” The black armor said, hushed, more emotion in her voice than church ever remembers being. He would laugh to himself that he still remembers her, at least a bit, not much any more but he knows she’s not very emotional, not outward. He blacked out after that.

York came over to Tex. “It’s gone now. You’re the original.” “And I’m not even that.”

The next time church woke up, it was in a pelican, cobalt armor on and traveling to blood gulch with others in the pelican with him. He hissed as he woke up, his head killing him.

The solider next to him worried. “You ok man?” Church sighed. “Yeah, just…bad headache.” “Ouch. That’s awful. I’m Tucker, by the way.”

Church just nodded his helmet clad head. “I’m church.” He looked and saw two others but didn’t pay them much mind. “Well Tucker I going back to sleep, my head is fucking killing me.”

He napped until they landed and he sighed at the place he would call home for god knows how long. “This is it?”

Tucker sighed. “Seems so. I’m not happy about this either.”

Next to them, one clad in deep blue spoke peppy and optimistic. Church recalled his name was Captain Flowers. “Cheer up fellas, I’m sure we can make this place quite comfortable.”

Church huffed. “What the hell are we supposed to do here anyway?” “Beats me.” Tucker said next to him, stretching his arms above his head.

Church started waking inside. “Whatever. Let’s just see what we’re dealing with.” 

Inside they found a small kitchen and living area along with a public shower and one toilet. They found where their weapons are and church saw he was assigned a sniper rifle for some fucking reason. He’s never shot more than a pistol, why would they assign him such a high caliber weapon?

Tucker saw it. “Aw man! You get the sniper rifle? I never get anything good.” Church huffed. “Well shut up, this is mine, fucking deal with it.” 

The day passed by too slow, patrolling blue base, having slop the UNSC called food for dinner before falling asleep in their dorms.

But church woke up nearly screaming, shaking and feeling his head wrecked with agony as he sobbed and rocked through a panic attack. _What the hell was that nightmare?_ There was doctors and machines and the phrase _Alison isn’t real_ being repeated inside his head.

He had to rush out his door; he was going to be sick. He got to the toilets but found it was occupied but it was too late, he was already heaving up dinner, collapsed on his knees.

Tucker came out of the toilet, frowning. “Dude, what the hell? Are you ok?” Tucker was already getting him a cup of water and kneeling next to him. Church coughed and finally his body finished as he managed to sit up, feeling his body shaking from the panic attack and vomiting. “Fine.” He said roughly, taking the cup of water offered.

Tucker nearly laughed. “This doesn’t look fucking fine to me.” Church gulped the water down, snapping at him. “Just a fucking nightmare. I’ll be fine.” Tucker sighed. “Alright. Need any help back to bed?”

Church shook his head, not speaking. Tucker jus nodded. “Alright, hope your night gets better.” Church just gave a weak wave before he felt nauseous again; he drank the water too fast.

Once he was done in the bathroom he went to the kitchen, feeling weak and tired but unwilling to go to bed, scared he’ll feel that pain again, that confusion and agony. He made some chicken soup and had some tea, hoping it’ll at least make him feel better.


	6. Chapter 6

“What are they doing?”

“ ...What?” In the week Church has been at this base, he’s pretty sure he hasn’t slept. Not with the fucked up nightmares. So his patience is non-existent.

“I said, what are they doing now?”

 **“** God... damn! I'm getting so sick of answering that question—“

 **“** You have the fucking sniper rifle; I can't see shit! So don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick.”

**“** Okay, okay, look, they're just standing there and talking. Okay? That's all they're doing— that's all they ever do— is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So five minutes from now when you ask me, _What are they doing?_ , my answer's gonna be, " _They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there!"_

**“** ...What are they talking about?

 **“** You know what? I fucking hate you.” Which was a lie, Church knew. Tucker’s been really helpful with his nightmares, always offering to watch TV or something to get his mind off it. He’s just…really fucking tired.

The rest of the day went uneventful yet infuriating and annoying thanks to his fellow blues.

He nearly collapsed at one point from the sheer exhaustion, he managed to catch himself but Tucker saw. “Dude, you need some fucking sleep.”

Church glared through his helmet. “Yeah, no shit. Thanks for the advice.”

“Dude, I'm fucking serious. I think you’ve only gotten four hours of sleep this entire week. You can just go without sleep.”

Church stayed quiet, knowing he was right. Tucker continued. “Look, why don’t you just ask commend for sleeping pills or something..”

Church sighed. “That’s not magically going to make the nightmares goes away.”

Tucker shrugged. “No but maybe you’ll be deep enough asleep it doesn’t bother you? Look, I’m not a doctor-“

Church rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

“But in just trying to help. I honestly am a little worried.” Church softened. “Yeah, I know. Thanks for…trying to help.”

When they got back to base, Church took Tucker’s suggestion and called command. He lied and said he had a hard time adjusting and thus couldn’t sleep. Commend sent one right away via drone so Church had the new meds by dinner that night.

He retrieved and sighed, holding the bottle. “Nothing like fast customer service.” He took the bottle inside and went to his bunk, reading the bottle.

_Ambien_

_Take by mouth on empty stomach once a night_

_Make sure to have time for a full 8 to 7 hours, if woken up before a full sleep memory loss may occur_

_Side effects include_

_Dizziness_

_Daytime drowsiness_

_Nausea_

Church sighed and placed it on the nightstand next to his bed. He hoped it helped. He hoped that whatever nightmares show up, he doesn’t remember and can sleep blissfully ignorant to them.

He walked out to the kitchen, hearings commotion and smelling smoke. He ran and saw Tucker putting a fire out that destroyed the microwave. Tucker was yelling at Cabbose. “Cabbose! What did I say about you in the kitchen?!”

“That I should stay away.”

“Exactly so why the fuck are you in here?” Church just watched, too tired to really get Involved and yell at Cabbose like he normally would. Cabbose gave some stupid reasoning and Church just sighed. “Should I call commend again for a new microwave?”

Tucker groaned. “I mean, unless you know how to cook.” Church shook his head. “Nope. Command it is.” He turned and went to call them. Again.

This time it’ll be a day before they can get a replacement which meant peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner.

Fucking fantastic.

He said his goodnights and went to his room and got ready, staring at the bottle of sleeping pills. He took it with him, going to the bathrooms, brushing his teeth and taking a pill with a gulp of water before heading to his room. Tucker was doing the same as he caught Church before he went in his room. “Take your new pills?” Church sighed. “Yeah. Don’t be surprised if they don’t work.”

“Hey, it was just a suggestion dude.”

“I know and I actually appreciate it. Thanks for trying to look out for me.” Tucker grinned, slapping him on the shoulder. “No problem dude, good luck. I’m down the hall if you need me.” He said, running off to get ready for bed.

Church went into his room and got under the covers with anxiety. He just wanted to sleep.

No nightmares.

Uninterrupted sleep is all he wants.

After about a half hour he felt his eyelids starting to droop and he didn’t fight it. His last thought was _here we fucking go._

Tucker was sleeping when someone was knocking on his door, loudly. “Uhh Tucker..” Tucker groaned. It was the rookie, of course. “Cabbose, go back to bed. Whatever it is, I didn’t do it.”

“It’s just.. well Church is acting really funny. It’s kinda scary.” Tucker got out of bed, opening the door. “What’s going on?”

Cabbose fidgeted with his fingers. “Uh well I heard him yelling no and stop. He’s kinda just walking around with his hands on his head and saying the same thing over and over again.”

Tucker cursed. “Shit. Ok. Go back to bed, I’ll take care of it.” Cabbose nodded and walked back down the hall as Tucker left his room, starting to hear church’s mumbling. Hearing it more clearly.

_Alison isn’t real._

He found church in the kitchen, pacing and mumbling with his hands on his ears.

He approached him gently. “Uhh Church, you doing ok?” But Church ignored him. Tucker came closer. “Uhh Church, can you hear me?”

Church stopped his chant and looked at Tucker. Tucker couldn’t tell if he was awake or having a weird sleeping episode. “They’re trying time get me to think she’s not real… I know she is…Alison is real. She is but they don’t let me believe it-“ His words came out fast and wobbly, like he was terrified. Tucker put his hands gently on his shoulders and church nearly jumped. “What are you doing? Who are you?”

Tucker sighed. “I’m your friend, Tucker. I’m here to help you, ok? We’re just going to watch a movie.” Church swallowed, letting himself he led as Tucker brought him to the crappy couch and TV set up. He found a DVD of a Disney movie and put it in.

Church went back to mumbling, hands on his ears. “Alison isn’t real..Alison isn’t real..” Tucker gently brought his hands back down form his ears. “Hey, can you do something for me?”

Church could barely focus on him. “I..I don’t..” “Just..watch the TV, ok? I want you to watch it. Nothing more. Can you do that?” Church didn’t answer and looked at the TV. Tucker could see right away Church relaxed, watching the movie. 

Tucker was half asleep when Church fell on him, fully asleep and broken from his episode. Tucker looked down and saw his head in his lap. He was too tired to even make a dirty joke. “Guess I’m sleeping here tonight. Sleep well Church.”


	7. Chapter 7

Church for once felt comfortable and was happy to snuggle deeper and let sleep continue to take him away.

But his neck hurt and he wasn’t sure where he was. He looked and saw it was a lap, he looked up and saw Tucker asleep and slumped on the side of the couch. He moved quickly. “Fuck!” Tucker yawned, being woken up. “Oh hey, did you get some sleep?” Church sputtered. “Sleep? I woke up in your lap! What the fuck happened?”

Tucker sighed, getting up and stretching. “So it was a weird sleep episode.” “Tucker!” Church nearly ground out, his anxiety making him angry. “What the fuck happened?”

Tucker shrugged. “I don’t know. Cabbose woke me up and said you were waking about and talking to yourself. You were in some sort of hallucination. I got you to the couch, you fell asleep to a Disney movie but you kinda fell on my lap but with how little sleep you get I wasn’t going to wake you so that’s how you ended up in my lap.”

Church groaned, running his hands through his dark hair. “I need a fucking coffee.” Tucker gave a nod, going to the kitchen. “Did you actually get some sleep though?”

Church shrugged, sighing. “I think so? Cause I don’t remember any of the walking around and hallucinating. But, yeah. I actually feel pretty decent.”

Tucker smiled, starting the coffee maker. “Then maybe these won’t be so bad then.” Church walked to the kitchen. “So bad? Tucker I was hallucinating half the night.” “So? Is it better than waking up from a nightmare and throwing up with no sleep?” “I kept you from getting sleep.”

“True but if that happens again and it’s nothing serious who’s to say you can have your ambian hallucinations in your own room.” Church just have him a blank stare. “I think you’re missing the point. Uh hello? Hallucinating shouldn’t be normal.” 

Tucker gave a soft glare. “But you actually got sleep dude. Look, just keep trying it. If it becomes too much then you can stop but if you got sleep and this is the worst that happened? I call this a win.”

Church couldn’t help but agree but he worried if it could become worse or cause more harm than good to his teammates. Tucker could lose more sleep trying to help him and he can easily terrify Cabbose by just sleep walking. 

By the end of the day he has nearly forgotten about the hallucinations and sleep aid that caused them. Thanks to a certain blue rookie that nearly killed him if he hadn’t ran away in time. After some screaming at the rookie and telling him never to touch anything with wheels again, he decided to patrol away from his fellow blues.

After a while he walked back to base, Cabbose finding him quickly and fluttering about like a fly. “Church! Are you alright?” Church sighed. “Cabbose, leave me alone. Please.” He said, walking to his room, taking his armor off and nearly throwing it to the floor before collapsing onto his cot.

Tucker was enjoying his lunch, after sending Cabbose to his bunk when he heard screaming from Church and the lights of the base flicker on and off, one light even exploding.

He got his gun and ran, bursting into Church’s room, ready for some sort of attacker but it was only Church screaming and sobbing in the fetal position on his bed, nearly pulling his hair out. What the fuck was happening?

He put his gun on the nightstand and went to church, shaking him awake.

“Church, buddy, it’s just a nightmare. You have to wake up!” Cabbose come into the room quietly, looking scared as Tucker continued to wake him.

A light bulb in the room exploded and Church seemed to wake up, feeling he was being held and scrambling to get out. “No, no, let me go! Please don’t hurt me!” Tucker gently shook him. “Church, it’s me, Tucker!” Church looked confused and still hyperventilating. Tucker stayed on the bed and held him close. “Just breathe with me.”

Cabbose come closer to them, watching with worry and fear. Church came back to himself a bit. “What’s happening?” Tucker sighed. “I have no idea. You were having a nightmare but all the power here kept flickering.” Church swallowed, still feeling shaky. “Fuck. I think I’m gonna go take a shower.” Tucker let him go. “Sure thing.”

Church saw Cabbose as he stood. He was going to yell at him but Cabbose her already wrapped him up in a tight hug. “I was so scared. You were screaming and crying and the lights flickered-“ “Cabbose I’m fine.” Church said, relenting you the large blue. Eventually Cabbose let him go and Church walked out of the room.

Once in the shower Church just stood there, his hands still trembling from the intense nightmare. He remembers from the nightmare being in a room with a doctor, some kind of therapist, but he felt so unsafe with him, despite the doctors polite personality.

Then it changed drastically. He was on a medical table, being cut open, it was agony and no doctor would stop-

He took in a heaving breathe, feeling a panic attack start. He reached for the shampoo bottle and washed his hair, giving his hands something to do and a scent he can ground himself to.

He got out and dried off, changing and walking out to the kitchen. Tucker saw him, bringing a mug of tea over. “Hey man, how you feeling?”

Church sighed, taking the tea. “I don’t know, better? I just wish I could sleep like a normal fucking person.”

“Well I got news from Command; we’re getting a new teammate. Sometime today.” Church just nodded, not thinking anything of it, going to watch some crappy movies.

An hour later the teammate arrived.

“Hey, call me Tex.”

That voice made the hair on the back of church’s neck stand on end. Suddenly getting flashbacks to medical rooms, metal hallways and doctors trying to cut him open and a name repeat on his head.

Alison


End file.
